Lips which I have loved
by Artemis Noir
Summary: My take on what happened in the "behind the screen door scene". Rated M for sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Mai Hime doesn't belong to me. The idea for the story came from Dreiser. Thanks CrazyNinjaPenguin for the Beta'ing.

Takes place just after Kiyohime has tossed Nao and Julia off the cliff.

Lips which I have loved

You know my secret now Natsuki…

Kiyohime brought us here to this secluded house. I held you en route after you fainted. There's something you haven't told me, it is impossible that little whore was able to incapacitate you as she had. You've lost the fight in you, but it's alright, I shall protect you.

I had to undress you. You hadn't woken up yet, I had to find out if she hurt you. I peeled down the zipper of your motorcycle outfit and my heart rejoiced. I realized you were wearing the pale blue bra I helped you choose when we last went shopping; further down I found the matching panties. You wore such hideous lingerie before you knew me. It was not uncommon to watch you undress in the locker room to find you wearing a sports bra and plain white underwear. I later attributed this flaw to your lack of a female role model growing up, I'm so happy to have played a part in your evolution.

You moaned into wakefulness as I pulled the suit down your shoulders and arms. You were bruised round the ribs on your right side, but I don't think anything had broken. I helped you sit up so I could undo the bra and bandage your damaged area. You were irresistibly cute as you blushed.

"Ara, Natsuki. Don't be shy with me; I already own a pair of those." I said as you covered your chest with your arm. You hadn't spoken yet, but I promised you I would be professional as I dressed your wound Natsuki, my dear friend…

I'm lying, Natsuki. I wanted to undress you. There was no damage to the outfit which hugs your body so intimately. I embraced that enviable fabric once I was out of sight and inhaled deeply. A feeling of happiness rose and vanished in an instant to be replaced by a wave of loneliness. I know my feelings are one sided, it frustrates me that it is only you who makes me feel this way.

I know I am cruel to be pleased that you were actually harmed. But now that I am taking care of you, now that it is just you and I, perhaps your heart will find me too.

I made you tea and put mayo on some biscuits, but you wouldn't eat. You would barely drink, but I wouldn't let you lie down again until you had done that at least. You didn't even complain about how bitter it was.

_"It will help you to rest_." Your mind was so troubled. I meant only for you to be calm.

You were sleeping deeply when I returned from cleaning the tea set. I sat next to you and caressed your cheek with the back of my hand. You were so warm and soft, my heart quickened. Oh Natsuki, I sat for a long moment. I couldn't walk away, not when I had the chance to finally taste your kiss. "_I will never hurt you," _I thought as I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to yours.

Gods Natsuki, it was sweeter than I could have ever imagined!

"Natsuki," I whispered. "My Natsuki." You didn't move so I kissed you again. My hands began to wander down to feel you over your blanket and I was overwhelmed by both guilt and excitement as I felt your nipple become hard.

"Enough Shizuru," I mentally chastised myself without removing the offending hand. I've never touched anybody like this before other than myself. I've fantasized about us being together before and I wondered how much I could do to you before you would sense me. Could I make love to you in your sleep?

The thought inflamed my desire, but my heart told me that I could not dishonor you. Someday, you will give yourself to me. Someday…

But there you were; I pulled the blanket down, you were almost nude before me, an angel with broken wings.

It was then it occurred to me that there were other means of quenching the flame.

I stood to remove my robe and admired you from above. I was utterly charmed. The lacy panties accentuated the curve of your hips and crowned your flat tummy. You were ticklish there I recalled, because I've hugged you from behind only to have you squirm when my fingers grazed your belly. Your endowments are smaller than mine, but I adore them. They could fit perfectly in my hands if I were to grasp them, and as if the blush pink nodes atop them heard my thoughts, they arose.

Gods! How I wanted you my Natsuki!

I carefully placed myself astride of you so that I didn't hurt your ribs. The majority of my weight was on my knees that rested beside your hips; our breasts were pressed up against one another. The sensation of our skin pressing together was pure heaven. I kissed you so I could suck on your lower lip and then you stirred-

I didn't move; I was certain the tea would hold you to your dreams.

"Shi-zu-ru" I'm certain you whispered. You were dreaming about me!

"I love you Natsuki" I spoke softly to you. I grasped the fingers of your left hand and placed them by your head and kissed you again. My other hand traveled down our bodies. I slipped my fingers beneath my panties and made familiar circles. My hips moved of their own accord.

"Natsuki" I whispered repeatedly. Your name has always caused my heart to beat faster, and in this unspeakable act, it caused the tension to build quickly.

I closed my eyes as my mind pictured that it was you touching me. Our fingers entwined, oh Natsuki, my Natsuki, you felt so good.

I called your name loudly when I climaxed. I trembled so terribly my knees lost their strength and I felt myself collapse on top of you. When my eyes opened, I was rested on the crook of your neck which was wet with my tears. I could hear your heartbeat, calm, unaffected.

Oh Natsuki, I made a mistake!

I thought doing this would melt the fever in me, but it only rages hotter. I covered you quickly then jumped into the shower. I did not dishonor you, but I had to leave you or else I just might have.

I watch you as you sit peacefully looking into the garden. I am sitting behind you, the graceful curve of your neck reminds me of the flesh I so desired to possess last night. You have yet to tell me what has taken your spirit from you, but I will help you find it again. Nobody knows we are here. We can hide until the crisis has passed and I will keep you safe.

I will find a way to open your heart to me.

I will make you mine.


	2. Chapter 2

Mai Hime doesn't belong to me, thanks Rhythia deLoux for beta'ing this chapter. 

Lips which I have Loved

Chapter Two—Natsuki

I suppose it would be easy enough to let the past stay in the past. I feel that though, if I am to truly let it go, I have to understand what it is that I've forgiven, Shizuru.

The last thing I wanted to do was ask Yukino, because in some ways I blame her more than I do you. One could attribute your actions to a mixture of love sickness, raging teenage hormones and the extreme power you wielded. Not that it's excusable, but it gives reason.

On the other hand, Yukino completely had the power to stop you. Seriously, she could have spoken through Diana; a well timed "Hey guys, we're looking for you" might have saved us all from the shit that was to follow.

Why she was looking for either of us, I don't know, but when she found us what did she do? She not only let it happen, she watched, and then when it was convenient, she used it as leverage against you. She always acts so innocent and mousy, but after that I could no longer respect her.

That's why it was very difficult to not throttle her neck when I finally bit the bullet and asked her. She was home alone when I knocked on her door and demanded the truth. She really did not want to tell me about it, but I waited her out. I was not leaving until I got an answer.

"Can I just give you the short version?" She asked without looking at me. Her face was beet red. "There are things that I can't say out loud?"

That made me panic.

"What the fuck?" I swore. "Should I just draw you a picture of myself naked and ask you where she touched me?"

"Nononono! Sorry, it's not that!" She explained. "I'm just not comfortable with ah…ah…sexual language"

I was not any more relieved to hear that, but I just wanted her to get on with the story so I told her to say as much as she could.

"Well. She kissed you, and ah…she got on top of you without any clothes…" I don't know how her face managed to get any redder, but it did as she continued. "and she-she touched herself…"

"And then…" I said expectantly. My arms were crossed.

"Then she took a shower."

That's it? Actually, that's pretty gross, but at that moment Shizuru, I respected you a little bit more in a perverse way. I was completely vulnerable, you were on the edge of going crazy and you still held yourself back.

So what's next? It's been two months since we died in each others arms then awoke again. I told you that the past is the past, but have my actions conveyed those words? I wonder because you've become more distant to me. Perhaps it is your feelings for me that have changed? Have you decided that because I'm not your lover, that you don't want me as a friend either?

I have a week to decide if our friendship is worth saving. You've planned a weekend getaway at your family's summer house for all the former Hime.

I don't know if I'll be going even though it may be the last time I'll get to see you before you leave for college.

I do forgive you, Shizuru, but perhaps it is just time to let you go.

To be continued in "Desired Constellation"


End file.
